Ok, I’m just going to admit it!! I’m a goal motivated guy. I set all kinds – prayer, running, annual, work related, scripture memory and on it goes. As soon as my kids were old enough, I tried to get them to set goals. This included setting annual goals. I soon realized this was like pulling teeth from my children. They were not very enthusiastic about it, to say the least. It came as a revelation to me that most people are not motivated by goals. including my kids! I have to admit that I gave up hope that annual goals setting would be a meaningful experience for them. I kept at it each year, but mostly for my benefit. I shifted how we did this and began to talk about it as our “annual family meeting.” We incorporated a meal at our favorite Chinese restaurant. And then, as my kids moved into their late teens, it sort of clicked on for them and they were now looking forward to and reminding me about our annual meeting. These days they won’t miss it.

So, here’s how we celebrate our evolved annual family meeting. Over an extended and unhurried meal, we share with each other the following things:

• Our highs and lows from the last year. I know my kids well, but I’m often surprised by something they share. We share what we are thankful for and what might have been hard.
• We report on how well we did on the goals we set last year. For some, just trying to remember where they wrote down their goals is a challenge.
• We share what we are looking forward to this year including what things as a family we want to commit to. This often includes vacations and shared gatherings. It’s along the line of putting your big rocks into your schedule first.
• And we set new goals for the coming year. These include spiritual, health, work, personal development – really anything meaningful that we want to pay attention to. I encourage them to write them down.

In terms of timing, we do this during the Christmas break.

The big takeaway for us as a family is that this process gives us an opportunity to share at a deeper level with one another and to know each other more intimately. Usually, each person spends some time preparing before we meet.

Here’s what I’ve learned over the years:

• Make it fun for the kids.
• Allow each to share at the level they are most comfortable.
• Not everyone is motivated by goals, so go easy on that. Maybe ask, “What 3-5 things are you hoping for next year?”
• Go through the pics on your phone for the year. I’m always surprised and grateful for how rich my year has been and that there are many things that were beautiful experiences during the year. Sometimes, it’s just a picture of some fall leaves I noticed while on a run. If others have phones, ask each other what was their favourite pic of the year? And explain why.

In addition, I’ll use the info from this meeting to prepare an end of the year family newsletter update, which I send out to our extended family and friends early in the new year. It is always appreciated, and I think it helps keep us closer to distant friends and family. When giving updates for other family members I give them veto power over what is shared. I try for a balance of challenges and joys. Don’t let your newsletter sound too braggy!

Reflections:

What about you? There are many benefits to having daily, weekly, monthly routines.  What about an annual meeting? What are the benefits to setting and writing down your goals?  Could a new routine of an annual family meeting bring you closer as a family? I think it has for us.

 

We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps. Proverbs 19:9