Early in my career I worked as a Management Consultant. It was a very competitive environment and early on, I learned two things: “Fake it till you can make it” and “When in doubt say it with confidence”. I don’t honestly remember if anyone actually taught me these things, or whether I just internalized them from what I witnessed and experienced in others who were “successful”. I can smile now remembering that one of my favourite phrases for many years was “ABSOLUTELY” as I conveyed an ‘absolute’ confidence in whatever I was saying, whether I felt it inside or not.

For many years these maxims appeared to serve me well. By practicing them I did learn to courageously step out of my comfort zone even when my knees were trembling and, as a result, my experience and self-confidence grew.

While a healthy dose of self-confidence is a good thing, it is easy to slip from “healthy” self-confidence to arrogance. Here are a few signs that you have slipped over this precipice:

• You begin to believe that you are the smartest in the room
• You have a need to “weigh in” on everything whether you need to or not
• You feel a need to have the last word before a decision is made..even if you have already voiced your opinion…often more than once
• You overwhelm those that work with and for you with all of your great ideas…at the expense of soliciting theirs
• You don’t “listen to the end” of the views or ideas of others before interrupting and shooting them down
• You are “deaf” to feedback or suggestions for changes to your ideas preferring to see them to the end

There is a correlation between intelligence and arrogance. Arrogant leaders often grew up being the smartest kid in the class, had early competitive success and/or were rewarded for their cleverness. Having these intellectual gifts means that we can get used to being right, being perceived as a good problem solver and being valued by others. Arrogance can also be a cover for our own personal insecurities. Whatever the root cause of our arrogance, it can lead to leadership behaviours that do not foster collaboration or the development of others. While it might lead to our success, in the short term, it can be destructive to morale, to relationships and ultimately to the longer-term success of our organizations.

We all have the seeds of arrogance in us. We also have the antidote in the example of Jesus who modelled humility throughout His life. He was the smartest, holiest, and most powerful person in every room He entered yet He chose to live and model a radically different way. Can you imagine how impatient he must have been with some of the questions and actions of his disciples? Yet he never succumbed to arrogance. He chose instead to listen, to teach, to serve and to love.

• If you, like me, know you have seeds of arrogance in your heart, here are a few reflections to consider:
• In what areas of your life have your strengths, self-confidence and success shifted you away from a dependence on God?
• In what work or family situations does your arrogance tend to manifest itself?
• What behaviours do you exhibit that scream arrogance rather than humility?
• Where can you ask for and receive help from someone else in a way that will force you to humble yourself and be vulnerable?

If you don’t have an immediate answer to these questions, take them to the Lord and ask Him to show you any areas of pride and arrogance in your life and invite him to help you uproot them. As an even greater act of vulnerability and humility, consider asking some of your family members and co-workers for ways that your arrogance or pride shows up in your relationship with them. Invite them to help you identify ONE behaviour change that will shift the balance toward humility and love.